


Strange New World

by kuhekabir



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, RPS - Freeform, Violence, mix of rps and star trek (2009)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-11
Updated: 2011-09-11
Packaged: 2017-10-23 15:37:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhekabir/pseuds/kuhekabir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waking up as Jim Kirk was only the beginnings of Chris' problems. But surely, it couldn't get any worse, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange New World

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cross over of sorts where Chris Pine ends up as Jim Kirk without any way of getting back home. Even though I am a fan of Star Trek, I am still very new so please, if there any inaccuracies in the story, don’t be mad. This story is meant for fun anyway, so please keep this in mind while reading.

~1~

“Hm…” Chris hummed, stretching languidly as the sheets caressed his body. He turned, burying his head further into the pillow, grabbling for the sheet to pull over his head.

There was this strange humming sound followed by an odd vibration, which was pulling him out of sleep. If he weren’t such a light sleeper, totally in tune with his surroundings, he would’ve probably never noticed.

Usually when he was wide awake and busy, little things like that always passed him by. But at night any kind of strange noise had him startling and while those noises never kept him awake, he honestly wasn’t known for sleeping deeply.

Still, he wasn’t complaining.

When he hummed the next time it was more like grumbling and instead of trying to get the sheet over his head, he dove underneath the pillow.

He dozed off but something still wasn’t quite right.

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before flopping onto his back. He pushed his t-shirt up, scratching his belly while his eyes slowly fluttered open.

For a moment nothing happened. His adjusted to the somewhat darkness and while he could see perfectly well, his mind refused to register his surroundings.

Gone was his bedroom; hell, gone was his bed and instead there was…this.

He squeezed his eyes shut, raising his hand to rub at them as if he could wipe away what he had just seen.

“Just a dream, just a dream…” he mumbled, fully expecting to be proven right when he opened his eyes again. This time though he was cautious, opening one eye at a time but alas, no change.

“What the…?” he cursed, sitting upright so fast his head started swimming and he had to steady himself by placing both hands on the bed.

“Lights?” he said tentatively, not believing it would work but then seconds later, the lights came on full force.

“Argh!” He shielded his eyes with the back of his hand, blinking rapidly.

When his eyes had adjusted, he just sat there, somewhat dumbly, staring at the room.

He so wasn’t in Kansas anymore…

~~

Splashing cold water onto his face wasn’t helping much but at least it gave him some semblance of normally.

All the time his mind was running around in circles, kind of like a hamster in one of those wheels, denying reality but at the same time, finding it kind of hard to do so.

 _Be thankful you didn’t get dumped in a place you weren’t familiar with…_ a not so helpful voice in the back of his mind supplied.

He snorted, rubbing his jaw before leaving the bathroom. He glanced at the other door, which was probably leading to Spock’s room, and the thought alone boggled the mind.

Spock…an alien…a real alien!

He was still wearing a slightly worn t-shirt and threadbare sweatpants while his feet were bare. The cold looking floor though wasn’t actually cold under his feet so maybe this feat of human ingenuity came with in floor heating.

Or maybe he had gone into shock. He should test this.

He pocked at his exposed arm, folding the flesh, pinching himself and he came away yelling. Clearly he could still feel things.

He moved towards what he recognized as a computer, thankful that this version of the Enterprise was up to the scifi standards he had become familiar with. As much as he loved the classic show, he would probably be horribly lost if he had to make sense of their sometime horribly weird technical equipment.

A huge part of himself was still stuck on this couldn’t be possible but he also couldn’t deny how real this felt. Was it a sign of insanity that he was starting to assume that this was real?

Everything was so lifelike; the walls hummed slightly underneath his fingertips, the sheets had been soft and the water had been cold and pleasant. He couldn’t recall ever having a dream like this where the dream state persisted for this long.

Of course, having somehow gotten snatched up from his own bed and deposited into Jim Kirk’s made no fucking sense either because Chris was real while Kirk wasn’t.

Still, here he was.

A thought dawned to him and he quickly raced towards the bathroom again, standing on his tiptoes.

His appendix. Where was his appendix scar? He lifted the hem of his t-shirt again, peeking down at himself and when he couldn’t find a scar on his lower body he stared in the mirror, hoping it would prove him wrong.

No appendix scar. But there was something else; a raggedy scar, which was quite low and close enough to almost want to make him sing soprano. He definitely hadn’t gone to be with this scar!

So, he swallowed hard, he hadn’t been transported to this place. His soul had gotten snatched up? His consciousness?

He steadied himself on the sink, his knees were slowly giving out underneath him.

This was a joke; someone must’ve drugged him and then gone through some elaborate preparations to drive him insane.

His eyes darted to Spock’s door.

Aha!

Of course there was no Vulcan in the other room. This was some sort of elaborate stage, surely a camera was somewhere, recording everything while whoever had set this up was laughing himself silly.

Oh when I get a hold of you, Chris seethed, marching towards the door, pressing a button and then it swooshed open.

Heat welcomed him with soft tendrils and before he could stop himself, he had crossed the threshold.

His mind was screaming at him, _run run_ , this wasn’t right… _run run_ …but after taking two steps into the room, he was trapped.

The door had closed behind him while he stood there, wide eyed like a virgin faced with a certain organ for the very first time.

A dark figure rose from the floor, striding menacingly towards him and Chris wasn’t proud of himself but he couldn’t quite help the squeal escaping his lips.

He darted around, trying to flee while his thoughts tumbled into chaos. Strong hands grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to stop before he was forcefully led towards a bed and forced to sit down.

His breathing was labored, coming in short gasps. His head was moved forwards until it was between his knees while gentle fingers made soothing circles on his back.

Eventually he calmed down long enough to sit up again, staring at Zach who clearly wasn’t Zach any more. His fingers twitched. He had always teased the other man about his pointy ears, reaching for them, pulling at them but while he couldn’t quite suppress the need to do the same now, some basic survival instinct kicked in and he left his hands in his lap.

Where Zach might’ve actually just swatted him over the head in a playful mood, this guy might nerve pinch him or put him through a wall. Ungh…It was better to tread carefully here.

“I’m fine,” Chris rasped out, making to stand and finding no objections. The world was suddenly swimming around him and before he knew what was happening, he was tumbling to the ground.

Passing out from shock wasn’t a very manly thing to do but Chris dared anyone to do better when coming face to face with his new reality.

Maybe if he allowed his mind to shut down, whatever had happened would stop and when he woke up, he would be back home.

Yes, he clung to that thought like a life line for a drowning man.

There was no way after all, he could step in the footsteps of Captain Kirk. He might be able to play the guy but if he had wanted to make life and death decisions then he wouldn’t have become an actor but a doctor or a lawyer…

His thoughts tapered off as the big nothing swallowed him whole.

~~

Low spoken voices were the first thing he noticed when he slowly drifted back to awareness.

Why were there voices in his bedroom?

He frowned, trying to remember if he had brought someone home last night and came up empty.

“His vitals are strong if somewhat erratic,” a familiar voice said but while Chris felt somewhat comforted by hearing it, there was also a strange undertone to it, which had the tiny hairs at the back of his neck standing up.

Still, for a few more minutes he was lulled into complacency where nothing quite mattered. Floating on cloud nine might also be an apt description.

“What went wrong on the last mission?” the familiar voice demanded to know, his voice was edgy and raw.

“I do not know…”

“Stop playing with me,” now there was actually hissing which almost made Chris smile. “Something went wrong, I know it. Something always goes wrong and this time Jim dodged me by immediately going to bed. I should’ve chased after him but I figured you would at least tell me if there had been an incident…”

“Doctor…”

“Don’t doctor me, Spock. What the fuck happened?”

“I do not know.”

“You don’t know?” there was screeching involved then which had Chris twitching. No grown man should make a noise like that. it wasn’t seemly.

“The captain went into a dwelling of sorts, taking readings and he was gone for a few minutes before he rejoined me.”

“And…”

“His skin tone was approximately 1.2 shades paler than normal and he was perspiring but…”

“You didn’t ask him what happened?”

“He assured me nothing out of the ordinary happened. He simply tripped.”

“He tripped?” the screeching was back. “When have you ever known Jim to just trip? He might be allergic to everything in the universe but the guy doesn’t trip over his own two feet! He’s graceful as a cat most of the time, if you ask me…”

“Bones,” Chris drawled, caught up in the scene for a moment before the world could crash around him once more. “I didn’t know you thought I was graceful…”

“You…”

Chris slowly opened his eyes, expecting to come face to face with his fellow actors with cameras hovering in the distance and the familiar studio walls not far behind.

When instead he found a closed room which looked way too much like the infirmary on board the Enterprise, he let out a chocked gasp, before his limbs started flailing and he nearly tumbled off the bed.

“Jim!” this time Bones was no longer admonishing but he was in a full on panic and was pacing back in forth which only managed to make Chris freak out even more.

He was forced back onto the bed once more by strong hands and when he was somewhat settled, he blinked up at Spock, staring at the man.

Zach’s featured looked back down on him but there was no mistaken the different pallor on the man’s face. Chris would’ve never called himself >rosy but the slight greenish tilt to Spock’s face clearly proved the man wasn’t human. Everything else could’ve easily been faked but even the best make up couldn’t quite get a different blood color coursing through someone’s vein this right.

He gaped, blinking rapidly while lying there, stunned into immobility.

This was really happening.

He had a choice to make now.

Should he come clean?

And say what?

That he was an actor who only played Jim Kirk on the big screen and that this place couldn’t possibly be real and please, could he go back home?

The crew of the Enterprise was known to deal with many strange things but Chris doubted this would go over very well. Worse, what if they believed he wasn’t their captain? What if they thought he had somehow snatched the man away?

Then he would end up locked up and how was he then supposed to find a way home? No, he internally shook his head, he had to see this through.

He gnawed on his lower lip; but how?

~~

“We’re sorry…”

Voices floated around him and through him, causing him to shiver.

“What?”

“We’re sorry,” the echo came again from every single side, making his head spin.

He was floating in darkness; there was nothing around and he wasn’t even sure his body was there.

Panic started to shoot through him when suddenly the darkness pressed down on him, as if someone was trying to give him a hug.

“We didn’t mean for this to happen…”

Apparently Chris had reached his quota for being able to freak out because he managed to somehow calm down.

“Explain yourself,” he demanded and for a moment there was only silence. Had he scared the voices away?

Manic laughter followed, ringing hollow in his hears. Voices, he was talking to voices…this couldn’t be good!

“You entered our temple without preparations,” the voices suddenly picked up again and for the life of him, Chris couldn’t figure out if there was a gender involved or not. He couldn’t tell…the voices simply _were_.

“Entering the temple unprepared is a death sentence,” the voices continued, “but we saw you meant no harm. You weren’t aware and we are not in the habit of punishing ignorance.”

Oh goody…

“The damage was done, we couldn’t restore your soul fully but you have a destiny ahead of you. So we healed the gaps, sealing your wounds by merging you and your other self. You are whole now.”

“But…” Chris’ mind was flailing, doing cartwheels while he was trying to catch up. “I’m me…I’m not Kirk!”

“You are you and you are also him. The worlds move in different ways, some connect and some never meet. What are dreams or nightmares in one is reality in another. We found you, merged the most similar worlds, leaving one behind.”

What did that mean…?

Horror dawned on Chris. “What did you do the world I came from?” he screamed because he didn’t like this merging one bit. It sounded as if one world had gotten erased!

“You were removed. Your part was taken up by another as if you never existed while this strand here capered off.”

“I want to go home,” Chris mumbled like a five year old, not willing to face what he had just learned. The spark of hope, of somehow lucking out and finding a way back home had been strong and learning he could never go home, well, he wasn’t about to just accept that!

“Accept it,” the voices droned on again, apparently able to read this thoughts. “Your body is not here, only your mind. You are an open book.”

Chris frowned but there wasn’t anything to be done about it.

“We are sorry,” the voices intoned again and even though Chris didn’t want to admit it, the voices did sound sorry.

“I can’t be Kirk!” he shouted back but before he got any further, the voices interrupted him. “You are you and you are him. Give it time for the wounds on your soul to heal. Some memories will be lost, some regained. You are him and he is you. You will prevail. We are sorry.”

“I don’t care!” Chris shouted, giving into his anger. “You did this to me! Put me back! Put him back!”

“You are him and you are you. You are no longer separate. This is the only world which remains.”

“No!” Chris shouted but only emptiness greeted him.

The voices were gone.

~2~

“His mental pathways are out of whack.”

“Out of whack? Is this a new scientific term?” Spock questioned, his tone was flat but Chris could tell the man was puzzled and maybe even amused.

Huh…how could he tell this?

“Here,” Chris didn’t open his eyes to see where Bones was pointing. “Something fried his brain. All the pathways are jumbled up.”

“I see,” Spock said slowly and Chris got the impression the Vulcan didn’t quite >see anything.

“This is probably akin to having gotten an electric shock. But instead of shocking his body, something or someone shocked his mind.”

“Is the captain fit for duty?”

“Maybe in a day or so,” Bones answered slowly, “The pathways are already stabilizing themselves, and falling back into their normal patterns but I guess I will have to take another scan in a day or two.”

“Why?”

“Because a shock like this leaves changes behind. I need to document Jim’s new neural pathways so if something else happens to him I have the most up to date map.”

What Bones was saying made sense. It lined up with what the voices had told him. How he and Jim shared the same soul and had somehow gotten merged because by entering the temple, Jim’s own soul had gotten damaged and only by stuffing them both together had the voices been able to heal him.

They were merging, becoming one and with a rock sinking down in his belly, a new worry materialized on Chris’s mind. Would he lose himself? Would he lose his memories and gain Jim’s?

No, this wasn’t what the voices had said. He wouldn’t turn into Jim but he also wouldn’t be Chris anymore.

Maybe having some memories from Jim’s past would help but for now, he was in the dark. The realigning pathways were a good excuse for him if he acted differently or if he didn’t quite know what was happening.

But first things first, “Spock?” he wheezed, his voice was strangely hoarse.

“Yes, captain?”

“You’re in charge.”

“Agreed.”

Chris finally opened his eyes, finding Bones staring at him.

Being able to separate Zach and Spock had been kind of easy because there was no way to mistake a Vulcan for his friend. With Dr. Leonard McCoy it was different because he looked so much like Karl that it would be easy to forget the two men weren’t one and the same.

Chris sighed, closing his eyes briefly before opening them again. It would be better if he pushed his other life out of his mind. If he kept thinking of the people he knew by their character’s names, then he would be less likely to slip up and make a fool of himself.

 

He didn’t quite believe the voices that there was no way home; scratch that; he did believe them because contrary to what he wished, he hadn’t detected a hint of malice or lies in their words. Whatever those things had been, they hadn’t actually wanted to harm anyone and in a way it served Jim Kirk for trespassing where he shouldn’t have gone.

Then again, how had he been supposed to know the run down wooden shed had been a temple?

Wait a minute; his forehead creased. How had he known that there had been a shed?

An image rose from the depths of his mind. Huge, green trees and a clearing with a wooden construction, looking worn and barely able to be standing upright while it still defied gravity by doing so.

Chris gulped; this wasn’t his memory but it sure as hell felt like it.

He squirmed, missing what Bones had been saying.

“What?”

“How do you feel?” Bones repeated, hovering nearby by like the mother hen he was.

Chris smiled faintly before he stopped, scratching his head.

“Run down?” he answered, unsure what to say. “Scrambled?”

“Stop with the jokes, Jim,” Bones admonished, his mouth forming an unhappy line. “Tell me, kid. How do you feel?”

“I wasn’t joking,” Chris said petulantly, slowly sitting up, rubbing his head. Time to give the performance of a lifetime!

“I do feel scrambled…like my memories are there but then they aren’t?”

Bones hummed before running a scanner over him. Chris barely refrained from twitching in alarm but he managed to keep himself still while Bones did his work.

“It’s probably for the best that the hobgoblin is in charge for now. We’ve got some time before were are due to dock on Mars…”

Chris blinked…Mars?

Like a slow sinking stone, reality crashed down around him. He was in space; actual space! He had to use all his will power to keep himself sitting there, calmly as if nothing had happened at all because…space…space!

“Can I leave?” he asked because hospitals had never been his thing and clearly Jim wouldn’t stay here either.

“I see no reason why you shouldn’t as long as you promise to take it easy.”

“Sure thing, Bones…” Chris replied happily, jumping off the bed only to notice he wasn’t actually wearing much.

“Uhm…could I have some clothes?”

“Since when have you turned modest?”

Chris growled but Bones simply smiled.

“Here,” he handled him a bundle of black clothes. “Spock brought them for you. And Jim,” Chris nearly missed his cue before he looked up, “I am serious about this. Take it easy and if anything weird happens, come see me.”

“Weird?” Chris mouthed as Bones left. He shuddered to think what might be considered as _weird_ around here.

No, he couldn’t let himself think about that. Kirk was always leaping into danger, never thinking about anything but others while saving lives left and right. He was in the military even though Chris thought technically Starfleet wasn’t supposed to be only military.

Still, Chris had never had any desire to join up with any armed forces; he had always had more interest in intellectual pursuits and then acting.

Now he was in charge and frankly nothing had ever scared him more. He could only avoid making decisions for so long; Spock would hold down the fort but from what Bones had implied, the moment they arrived on Mars, he was supposed to be back in charge, scrambled brain or not.

What he needed to do was find some strong coffee and then do some research.

When he left sick bay he came face to face with yet another problem. How was he supposed to find his quarters? He couldn’t quite ask any one of the passing people for directions because nothing would send him quicker back to Bones than that.

He could get away with a few lapses but forgetting the layout of his ship probably not so much.

He found a deserted corridor and then he tried his luck with one of the consoles.

Thankfully the ship was big enough to warrant a full on schematic with all the crew quarters and labs and moments later he memorized his way.

For once having a near eidetic memory was actually going to come in handy. The benefits of having such a good recall had been evident when studying and even learning his parts, memorizing lines had been relatively easy for him.

However there were also drawbacks like crippling headaches at times when everything got just a little bit too bright. For now though, he was glad that this skill had made the transition because it would make soaking up totally strange information so much easier.

~~

 _Oh hell no!_

Chris stared at the screen, tempted to make the sign of the cross to ward off evil.

 _Oh hell no and more no!_

Lamenting the fact wasn’t going to change anything but it might just make him feel better.

Still, eying the screen as if it would sprout legs and attack him wasn’t going to make the information on it go away.

Maybe if he poked at it?

Nope, didn’t change a thing. He retracted his fingers, curling them into tight fists.

 _Peace Conference with Romulans_ kept staring back at him.

He was supposed to be a part of this…this…Chris was lost for words.

Romulans!

Dread was spreading all over his body because they were docking on Mars in less than a day and he was supposed to be all smooth, slick and in charge.

Well, he wasn’t technically in charge. Admiral Christopher Pike was but he was still going to have to be there, make nice and actually come face to face with Romulans!

There was no way in hell he was letting Spock anywhere near that bloody planet!

Most people would say Spock wasn’t the one to act illogically but Chris knew this wasn’t true. He didn’t need Jim’s memories to arrive at that conclusion because he had watched enough Star Trek to know that Spock harbored quite a bit of illogical thinking in his logical brain and while these Romulans hadn’t been responsible for destroying Spock’s planet and killing his mother, he wasn’t so sure his stoic Vulcan would be able to help himself.

Frankly, if Chris were Kirk, he would probably have a hard time too.

A loud thud echoed through the room as Chris’ head connected with the table.

How was this his life?

~3~

Thankfully they weren’t supposed to arrive on Mars until early next morning when it would be late afternoon on the colony. This gave Chris the rest of the day and the night to hide in his room, pretending to be resting while trying to get his hand on as many documents as he could manage.

From what he could tell, the events of the film had unfolded exactly the same way and after getting promoted to captain, Spock had indeed joined him as his first officer. Since then only about half a year had passed and they hadn’t done more than explore a few planets and ferry diplomats about.

Still, from the mission logs apparently every single landing party Kirk had been on, had encountered problems from nasty glowing insects to strange seismic activities and homicidal plants.

Chris sighed; hopefully he was going to be less of a trouble magnet now because he wasn’t so sure if he could survive plants trying to eat him.

The nightmares alone would surely kill him.

Way past dinnertime he decided to head to the mess hall. The need to hide in his room and use his own replicator to get some sort of meal was great but he decided against it.

He needed to practice running into people because otherwise he would jump quite literally into hot water tomorrow.

This late at night there shouldn’t be too many people about because from what he had been able to gather it was between shifts right now and most who were off, would probably be asleep.

Truthfully he wasn’t even hungry but he hadn’t eaten dinner last night and then he hadn’t been able to stomach even thinking about food ever since he had woken up here.

He might not feel hungry but his body would need some fuel otherwise he would crash and burn tomorrow.

Maybe he could stay on the sidelines. Captain Kirk was after still quite young and a new captain. Surely, no one was going to expect him to be in the middle of things, right?

He sniffed; even to his own ears the thought didn’t ring true because even he had no intentions of doing so, Kirk always landed in the middle of things.

Well, he straightened his shoulders, he wasn’t Kirk. He would stick to the sidelines and stay there and then maybe this conference would pass without anyone pointing a finger at him, calling him a fraud or worse…without him accidentally starting a war.

He had to remind himself that these were real people out there with real lives and that he was no longer in a movie or in a whacky dream.

A planet and its whole race had been exterminated and this was the reality here. How anyone could wrap his head around such a thing he didn’t know but he couldn’t afford to lose focus.

He was still dressed in his boots, black trousers and dark undershirt and for a moment he considered pulling on his gold shirt but then he decided against it.

He would have to face reality soon enough. Tonight he simply wanted to try mingling a bit and getting some food.

Since he had memorized the layout of the ship, he found his way to the mess hall quite easily.

The ship was truly amazing; a feat in engineering. The low hum, which had woken him earlier on, was barely audible now. Clearly it hadn’t been so much the noise as the strange, new surroundings, which had interrupted his sleep. The sleek wall, the elegant curve of the hull; every single nook and cranny screamed Lady of Space at him. No wonder everyone was so in awe of this ship.

He passed a few people and thankfully neither one of them stopped to salute him. Clearly, just like he would’ve done, Kirk preferred a much more casual approach to things. And besides, it would’ve been downright impractical to have people pause in what they were doing only to pay their respects to him. Talk about outdated ideas too!

He avoided the bulkheads like the plague because he didn’t think he was ready to actually look outside. They were at warp speed now so he wouldn’t actually see any stars but just the notion of it would either make him royally sick or have him drop dead in awe. Neither option seemed particularly appealing. For as long as he could pretend he wasn’t in a floating box in the middle of a vacuum he would be fine. Tomorrow he would deal with facing a bloody colony on Mars but one thing at a time, right?

He entered the mess hall, standing there for a minute, taking everything in. Thankfully there wasn’t that many people around and no one paid him any attention.

Locating the food replicators was easy and he quickly strolled towards them, his eyes trailing left and right. For some reason he didn’t see the woman approaching until it was too late and then they collided.

“Argh…!” she screamed, more of outrage than of shock. Thankfully she had been heading the same way so there was no food or spilled drinks to worry about. Chris quickly pulled his hands back when he realized in his attempt to steady her, he had inadvertently grabbed her in less than acceptable places.

“Uhm…” he stuttered, tearing his eyes away from the rather splendid body until he finally managed to look into the outraged face of Lt. Uhura. Of course, he grumbled internally. Of all the people he had to run into, it had to be the one woman who apparently still held a grudge for being hit on years ago.

“I would’ve thought you had matured somewhat,” She spit, straightening her otherwise pristine uniform. “But pretending to run into me just so you could grab me is really the lowest…”

Chris narrowed his eyes. He had come across quite a few hostile people in his life. It had started early on because he had never been all that interested in sports, preferring to sit quietly in a corner and read which apparently, according to most of his classmates, had been quite a sissy thing to do.

Later on, being gay hadn’t helped matters even though he could honestly say he hadn’t come across any too overt bashing like some of his friends had. Maybe growing up and living in a more relaxed atmosphere had helped but frankly, up until now he had never wondered what exactly had driven Uhura to such a dislike of him. Surely the one incident in a bar couldn’t have been the reason for her to hold such a grudge. And yes, maybe Kirk had less restraint when coming face to face with a pretty woman but Chris doubted anything had ever progressed to more than teasing with anyone under his command.

If Kirk and he were supposed to be the same person just in a different package, aka life and universe, then he had to believe they would still adhere to the same standards and just like Chris would never sleep with anyone while working with them, he was willing to bet Kirk wasn’t going to seduce anyone under his command. Teasing? Sure. Some flirting and lewd comment if the situation called for it? Sure. But nothing would ever go further that that.

“I did not see you,” Chris spit out, his eyes slightly narrowed. He honestly couldn’t stand people who formed an opinion without bothering to check their facts. First impressions were important but one could not hold on to them like gospel. They could be wrong and even if they weren’t, people changed. Narrow mindedness like this simply wasn’t something he could tolerate.

“I beg you pardon,” her feathers were clearly ruffled. “You grabbed me!

“Only to keep you from falling on your ass,” Chris shot back, temper flaring up. “Next time, I shall let you fall!”

He pushed past her, considering for a moment if he should add something about not talking to a superior officer like that but then he decided not to go there.

He ignored her muttering, heading towards the replicator. He had no clue what to look for, so he browsed the menu for a bit before selecting a burger. It might not be real meat but who cared? He needed some comfort food right about now.

He took his plate, heading for one of the many empty tables before sitting down and starting to eat.

He only looked up when he saw Spock walking past him, heading for yet another empty table.

Ah, Chris thought. Clearly their supposed friendship hadn’t started yet. Still, he hadn’t gotten killed for entering Spock’s quarters unannounced so maybe they had progressed from outright dislike to some sort of respect or at least indifference.

He sighed; rubbing his chin while stuffing the last bit of burger into his mouth. He could’ve used a friend right about now even if he couldn’t talk about what had happened.

When he was done, he grabbed his plate, disposing of it before heading back to this room.

Maybe he would be able to catch some sleep but he seriously doubted it. Still, maybe resting his body would help.

~~

The next morning came way too soon and when his alarm went off, he nearly jumped out of his skin. He quickly checked the clock, noting they were approaching Earth’s solar system and he was going to be required to make an appearance on the bridge soon.

He sighed, quickly taking care of washing up before donning his uniform. The golden shirt felt odd but thankfully the outfit was quite comfortable. He ran his fingers through his hair but didn’t bother with an actual comb.

When he stepped outside, he only paused for a moment, orienting himself, before heading towards the lift.

Seconds later the lift doors opened up and he got his first look at space. He gaped, fingers twitching while he desperately tried to regain some sort of composure.

Still, he couldn’t quite resist gaping at the beautiful sight before him.

Space had always fascinated him because seriously, who wouldn’t be in awe of the gigantic balls of gas out there?

Pluto swooshed past them and sadly when they passed Saturn he didn’t get a good view of the rings because the comm chimed.

“Admiral Pike for you, captain.” Uhura announced.

Chris rolled his eyes. How she could possible manage to sound this insubordinate while addressing him properly he didn’t know. If she kept this up, he would have to address it because Kirk might’ve been inclined to cut her some slack but he wasn’t in the mood to put up with stupid behavior.

Maybe he had talked to her about it before, he should try finding out if anything was bothering her. Would Spock know? Surely he would. He was her boyfriend after all. But would he tell him, probably not. Still, maybe if the opportunity presented itself, he would ask. Spock couldn’t say more than no and glare at him, right?

“Jim,” Pike’s voice drifted through the speakers and for a moment Chris floundered. How should he address him?

“Chris,” he settled on saying, since the admiral had used his first name first.

“Can I talk to you and Spock in private before you dock?”

“Of course,” Chris made a vague notion towards Uhura who nodded, transferring the call into his private office.

He quickly got up from his more than awesome chair, walking towards the private area. When he entered, Spock was hot on his heels, giving him a curious look.

“Maybe we should engage the privacy lock?” Spock suggested and from the way the Vulcan said it, Chris could tell the man was telling him off.

“Sure,” he made another dismissive gesture, “Go ahead. You do it.”

He had found his captain codes because apparently Kirk had made a note of them in heavily secured files and his mind was still boggling with the information that he had been able to hack his way into them. He was no slouch when it came to computers; he knew how to use them like the next man but actual hacking? Way beyond him…and yet, somehow, once he had stopped thinking about it, the memory had just been there.

Still, knowing the codes and actually knowing how to go about using them were two totally different pair of shoes.

“Engage privacy lock,” Spock said, quickly rattling off his own code, receiving a chime to confirm.

“Spock, Jim,” the admiral’s voice was already drifting over from the monitor.

Chris quickly crossed the distance, slouching down in one of the chairs while Spock of course sat ramrod straight as if he had swallowed a broom.

“Does it hurt to always walk around as if you’ve swallowed a stick?” Chris couldn’t help himself from asking receiving only a raised eyebrow as a reply while the admiral chuckled softly in the background.

“I see you haven’t made up yet,” the man added.

Chris tore his eyes away from Spock, facing his supposed friend on screen. Admiral Pike looked just like he should and the familiarity was both startling and comforting.

“I don’t need to tell you how important this unofficial meet and greet is,” the admiral finally got down to business. “This is a peace conference but since we aren’t officially at war, we’re mostly there to talk about our differences.”

“The Federation has made it quite clear that we do not hold Romulus responsible for the actions of one deranged mind,” Spock pointed out, always at hand with the logic.

“I know,” the admiral nodded, “Even Vulcan harbors no ill will towards them but ever since…” here Chris’ voice falter for a bit, clearly not accustomed yet to casually speak about the destruction of Vulcan and most of its people. After a quick breath, the man continued, “Well, the overall feeling of most folks is less than welcoming and I don’t need to tell anyone of you that it doesn’t really need much to irk Romulans.”

Spock inclined his head in agreement while Chris tried to sort his mind. He had learned quite a bit last night but the database had been horribly lax when it came to Romulans. Actually finding information on Vulcans had been equally impossible so all he could do was fall back on the knowledge he had gained from watching the original series. Still, since this world seemed to fall in line with the movie, who knew if any of his memories were actually accurate? And even if they were, this was a different timeline than the original series.

Hadn’t they only run into Romulans by accident? Wasn’t there some sort of hide and seek with Kirk and one Romulan?

Chris couldn’t be sure so maybe he shouldn’t actually think anything and just approach this with an open mind.

“So this is no official summit?”

“No,” Pike confirmed. “Which is why it will only be you in attendance, representing Starfleet while an equally selected group from the Romulans will be there.”

“But then what’s the point?” Chris wanted to know because if neither one of them had the power to actually make any official treaties or agreements, what was the point in courting disaster?

“The point,” Pike’s voice held a little bit of heat now, “is to see if we can get along peacefully for a while. There will be cultural events for everyone to get to know the other race better, including drinks and dinners.”

A quick glance towards Spock told Chris the Vulcan was equally unhappy with the idea.

“The point is to show everyone we can all get along.”

“Of course,” Chris inclined his head, mentally starting a countdown until Mars exploded and the rest of the known planets with it.

“I’ve sent up the coordinates for you to beam down. We’ve sectioned off a part of the station for this, leaving the rest of it free to operate normally. So feel free to organize shore leave for the crew.”

“Sure,” Chris quickly agreed, sending a meaningful glance towards Spock who inclined his head.

“I’ll expect you then shortly.”

Chris was about to turn off the screen when Pike stopped him.

“One more thing,” the admiral said, all humor vanished from his face. “We’ve got a few reports that some people might try to sabotage the talks.”

“Color me surprised,” Chris mumbled, not loud enough for Pike to hear him but Spock shot him a curious look.

“Nothing concrete but knowing your habit of always landing in the middle of things…keep your eyes open, Jim…”

Chris nodded, sighing with annoyance.

Then the screen went black.

“May I suggest we beam down armed?”

Chris really liked the idea but then he shook his head. “This is supposed to be a peaceful event. If we show up armed, don’t you think this might be interpreted as looking for trouble?”

For a moment Spock appeared inclined to bang his head against a solid surface but then the Vulcan simply nodded once.

~4~

Panic didn’t have time to actually assert itself until later when Jim was seated next to a Romulan while pretending to enjoy something, which could only be described as dancing and singing in the most liberal sense.

He shifted in his chair; attempting to make his displeasure known but when he looked up he caught the knowing look from the Romulan.

“I’ve heard you like your alcohol, captain Kirk. Maybe we should escape towards the bar?”

While Chris wanted nothing more than to actually have a drink, or two or three or ten, he doubted getting sloshed with a Romulan was a good idea. Still, if he declined, he might give offense and he couldn’t actually claim to be having a good time.

“Sounds like a good idea,” he said with fake cheer, “Please lead the way.”

He must’ve said something right because the Romulan got up, slinking out of the row and vanishing through the door, which led to the bar.

Despite Pike’s words, there were quite a few people about. Delegations from a few human colonies followed by a few non human ones and of course Romulans.

The only race absent were the Vulcan’s but then again, one could also argue that they had more important things to worry about and that Spock was here representing them.

He had lost track of Spock early on in the morning as his first officer had been drafted into scientific discussions of who knew what. It hadn’t escaped Chris’ notice how he had skillfully avoided coming anywhere near any Romulan and while he probably should’ve called Spock on it, he had found he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Logically Spock might know he couldn’t blame an entire race for the destruction of his home world but emotionally? Not so much…and despite any claims to the contrary, Chris knew the half Vulcan had emotions. If Spock needed to keep his distance to keep his sanity than he would be the last person to take that from him. Even if it left him in the hot seat and Spock would probably never admit it or even appreciate the sentiment.

Chris had experience with being quiet and making no sound. Years of sneaking in and out of his parent’s house and then living with a very excitable dog for a few years had taught him how to move about with hardly making any sound. He had loved Mutty, the stupid dog but there had clearly been something wrong with him. Still, despite everyone telling him to just put the dog down, he had fought against it because you didn’t kill a human simply because he was slightly disturbed. He wasn’t going to put down the dog because he liked to bark the moment anything moved.

Mutty had never hurt anyone and after all, Chris didn’t t even hear the constant barking any more. Mutty in turn had rewarded his kindness with being loyal and adorable and really, what more could anyone ask of his dog?

Thankfully at the time he had been living in a house so the constant barking had not disturbed any neighbors.

“Scotch,” he ordered when he got to the bar, sliding onto the stool with practiced ease, leaving his long legs slightly dangling while he leaned his body forwards towards the rapidly filling glass.

He had no idea what the Romulan had ordered but he probably wouldn’t be able to pronounce it anyway.

“I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage,” Chris slowly said. “You know my name but I don’t know yours.”

“I apologize,” The Romulan said, his dark eyes eying Chris contemplatively as if he was a new species just about to be discovered. Or as if he was tasty morsel about to be devoured but frankly the last analogy made Chris squirm with unease. Maybe he should’ve stayed and endured the music because what if he managed to piss the guy off?

He sighed.

“You may call me Sulvan,” the Romulan said.

Chris nodded, gulping down his liquid while gesturing for a refill. Getting drunk was a bad idea but seriously, there was only so much a guy could take.

“You can call me Jim,” Chris offered, smiling a little bit while cradling his drink in his hand. He wanted nothing more than to empty it again in one go but maybe he should hold off.

“Is this a standard drink among humans?”

“Yes?”

“So is mine.” Sulvan replied, speaking rapidly in a language Chris didn’t understand until the bar tender returned with two bottles. The Scotch bottle was larger than whatever Sulvan was drinking and for a moment Chris eyed them, unsure what to make of them.

“I find it is easier to get to know someone through testing their endurance,” Sulvan explained. “I propose we get drunk and see how we get along then.”

“I don’t…” Chris tried to be reasonable about this but was the Scotch actually winking at him?

“The bartender assured me that these two bottles should have the same effect on our species. No advantage or disadvantage. Simply a test of tolerance.”

“Oh what the hell,” Chris mumbled. “Sure, let’s do this.”

~~

How Chris had ended up in the hallway of the station he didn’t know but did he care?

Of course not!

“Argh,” he grunted as he was shoved into the wall, his back connecting with it forcefully. There would be bruises come tomorrow but who cared?

“Your tolerance is impressive,” the dark voice said while Chris simply grunted again.

Impressive? Not so much. If he weren’t currently being held upright by the strong grip of Sulvan, then he would be on the floor and he ceased behind coherent quite a while ago.

Lips were nibbling at his throat and without thinking about it, he tilted his neck sideways, allowing for better access.

The strong hands were griping him tightly with probably more bruises forming on his hips soon but how effortlessly he was being pinned to the wall was kind of a huge turn on.

He groaned, leaning further into the touch, their bodies aligning.

There was a flutter at the edges of his mind, kind of like a tentative hello and wasn’t there something he should be remembering about Romulans and Vulcans?

The thought was fleeting, vanishing just as quickly as it had appeared.

Suddenly the warm blanket was gone and he sunk to the floor as if his bones had vanished into thin air.

“Huh?” he managed helplessly, squinting upwards.

What was Spock doing here crowding Sulvan? If the Vulcan wanted in on the action, he should go and find his own Romulan!

He steadied himself on the wall, trying to rise while his feet continued to slip away from him.

Without any comment or warning, he was suddenly flung up into the air until his head was dangling down Spock’s back.

He ogled the man’s ass and what a fine ass it was!

“Hey!” it finally occurred to him to protest because being carried around like a sack of potatoes, flung over the Vulcan’s shoulders did nothing for his ego.

Spock of course ignored him, practically shouting (for a Vulcan) into his communicator, “Two to beam up. Now.”

The swirls of lights took them causing Chris to giggle. So what if he wasn’t quite in the most coherent state of mind? He was allowed some craziness considering what had happened to him.

And really, the Romulan hadn’t been all that bad. Good kisser; strong and frankly being able to be flung around as if he was a lightweight had its own kind of appeal. And besides, weren’t they supposed to further inter-species relations? Well then…!

Chris ignored the strange looks they received as Spock proceeded to carry him through the corridors of the Enterprise towards sickbay.

“What happened now?” Bones was already shouting seconds after they had entered.

“Owww,” Chris grumbled, “Not so loud…”

“The captain decided to run off with a Romulan…” Spock started to explain but Chris fell him into his words.

“Hey, we’re supposed to further relationships, right? And he was a good kisser!”

Someone swatted him hard over the head before something horrible was pressed into his neck, making him dizzy.

He took a few steadying breaths, trying to clear his head. Wait a minute…his head really was getting clearer with each passing moment…!

“Did you give me a detox…?”

“Yes,” Bones grumbled, “Although I should’ve let you suffer the hangover.”

When Chris opened his eyes Spock was long gone and for some reason he felt a flutter of regret. Why did the Vulcan have to be so difficult?

Why couldn’t he have been kidnapped from his own world and dumped into this one after those two had already made up? It would’ve so much nicer to go through this with Spock by his side, not always looking at him like a failure or waiting for him to trip up.

“Don’t be mean…” Chris grumbled, sitting up, allowing his long legs to dangle off the bed.

“Don’t be…?” Bones grumbled, hands on his hips. “Let me tell you something, Blondie…”

“Blondie?”

Bones ignored him. “I know you can’t keep it in your pants, Jim, but since when are you branching out to men? Or let’s re-phrase, since when are you branching out to hook ups with men who are more than likely to snap your scrawny neck?”

“Scrawny?”

“If you want your neck snapped,” Bones continued, ignoring him. “Then come to me. I have lots of fancy equipment I’ve always wanted tested on a live subject.”

“Look…” Chris slowly said, jumping off the bed. “I won’t apologize for who I am,” he hissed. So what if Kirk had been mostly straight all his life. He wasn’t going to have the man’s best friend lecture him on the _evils_ of hooking up with men.

Bones gaped at him, stunned.

“Jim,” he shouted after him, “Damn you, this isn’t what I meant! Jim!”

But Chris ignored him; he was not in the mood to listen. He had gotten enough shit throughout his life for _choosing_ to be gay and he wasn’t about to tolerate any more of it. This wasn’t a choice after all. It was who he was.

It wasn’t that he didn’t find women pretty; they just didn’t do much sexually for him. Either this version of himself had been in some serious denial or maybe he had flung both ways considering they were supposed to share the same soul and all that crap.

Well, if he were honest, Christ had hooked up with a woman or two during college. Others had experimented with being gay and he had tried the reverse. So what? He could get it up, sex was pleasurable after all if done right but in the end, there had been no point in denying how men clearly did more for him than women so end of experiment.

Who knew what had pushed Kirk towards womanizing and maybe there had been another side to the man because if Chris knew one thing, both of them were surely good at keeping secrets from those they loved. Maybe not on purpose but he wasn’t in the habit of sharing and caring his inner feelings. They were his, and they were no one else’s business.

He was still grumbling when he fell into bed, fighting with sleep and it took a few more hours before he finally drifted off.

~~

The next day Spock popped up everywhere he went, looking especially dark and dangerous every time Sulvan came anywhere near him. But whenever Chris tried to corner the Vulcan to tell him to stop, the guy managed to vanish into thin air, not to be seen anywhere.

Eventually Chris gave up because it wasn’t worth the effort. If Spock wanted to play mother hen for no good reason then he wasn’t going to stop him. He would get bored sooner or later anyway.

The next few days passed in the same fashion. They were at their last event, a sort of farewell cocktail party when Chris excused himself, heading towards the bathroom.

What happened next he would never properly recall.

~5~

He groaned and his eyes were slowly fluttering open. Was Spock carrying him about again?

He tried to raise his hand to his aching head but found he couldn’t. Why?

He bobbed along, watching the floor move underneath him when he realized the ass he was staring at wasn’t Spock’s.

“What the…?” he mumbled, his body snapping backwards as if he had been whipped, flailing left and right throwing off balance whoever had been carrying him. He might turn a blind eye to Spock carrying him around like some sort of sack of potatoes but he wasn’t going to give the same privilege to someone else!

He crashed to the floor, trying again to balance himself by using his hands to cushion his fall but they still refused to cooperate. Pain exploded through his ribs while every breath got sucked out of his body. A sharp kick to kidneys cleared up any mystery about who could possibly be carrying him around.

This time two men grabbed him by the shoulder, dragging him along; his feet were dangling after him, totally useless.

The reason why he couldn’t move his arms was because they were tied up. He swallowed hard; perfect, a kidnapping. _Whohooo!_

The world around him was moving and it took way too much effort to keep track of his surroundings or to get his brain into gear. He was no genius, not like Kirk was rumored to be but he was no slouch in the brain department either.

Drugged, he was drugged. This was why his legs weren’t quite moving like they should; why he was so lethargic that even lifting his head had been an effort and why after struggling briefly, it was as if he was slowly sinking to the bottom of a lake, unable to do anything about it.

He was tired, so very tried…

Oh no! He forced his eyes open, staring ahead, taking in as much as he could. He might not be able to recall things properly but if he saw it, his eidetic memory might come in handy later on. His brain was always on, always recording useless information popping up at times but maybe right now, this talent of his might come in handy.

He allowed his eyes to go blank, seeing while unseeing at the same time, kind of like a camera being on while no one was behind it.

He wouldn’t be able to properly focus anyway since he was slowly slipping away. He had no clue either if his special memory worked this way but there was no harm in trying, right?

“Here, put him in here…”

He was roughly shoved into a room, landing in a heap on the floor. A kick later and he was on his back with the same man from before freeing his wrists. Clearly there was no need for him to be tied up when he was going to get locked up anyway.

“How much do you think we’ll get for him?” the other man asked, greed practically dripping from his voice.

“For Kirk? Savior of Vulcan and Earth… Youngest captain in the history of Starfleet?” the other man answered and Chris’ mind helpfully supplied him rubbing his hands while he contemplated his future riches. “Those facts alone would make him a golden goose but he’s also young, fit, blond and blue eyed. He’ll set us up for life!”

“And what about the alien?”

“We’ll keep him for now. Maybe someone wants him. If not, we can always terminate him later.”

Alien? Had they gotten Spock too?

Anger flared within Jim but he forced his body to relax, to stay limp. There was no need to give away he wasn’t quite as immobile as they thought he was.

Soon he heard a lock engage and then disappearing footfalls. He took a few deep breaths before slowly opening his eyes.

The world was still spinning around him and sitting up was a hardship. Every bone in his body was aching and when he raised his shirt, his abdomen was already bruising nicely.

He gently touched his ribs, pushing, trying to gauge if anything was broken but thankfully nothing of the sort seemed to have happened. They still ached fiercely but at least he wasn’t going to run a risk of puncturing a lung if he tried to move. This would surely cramp his style.

Now, how to get out of this?

He didn’t need to look around to know they were no longer on the Mars colony. For some reason, maybe as a joke, whoever had constructed the colony had loved coating everything in a red shine. Mars was called the Red Planet after all and apparently this had to be reflected in the entire station. The walls here were clear and the distant humming underneath his feet indicated they were on a ship, probably moving away at rapid speed.

No, if he wanted to get out of this alive and before getting sold like a piece of meat, he was going to have to do something about this himself.

 _Oh goody._

Because he was the brave one with years of training and no sense of self preservation, right?

He sighed, rubbing his jaw. He slowly got up his knees were quite unsteady. He slowly more or less fell towards the door, grabbing the bars.

Good, old fashioned bars; no force field. He wiggled his fingers through the bars, testing his theory. They were on an older ship then.

But then again, most people would still be trapped, force field or not.

Chris closed his eyes again, breathing deeply. Meditation wasn’t something he was good at but considering the strain his brain sometimes put on him, giving him horrible headaches and nausea, he had learned to reach inward and force the information out he was looking for. Quite handy when showing up slightly hung over at exams…really.

The drugs in his system weren’t helping and he wondered if this body might be allergic to them. Wasn’t Kirk allergic to nearly everything out there?

Chris himself wasn’t this fragile but since his consciousness had somehow ended up here in Kirk’s body, he might be in real danger of going into some kind of shock.

 _Brilliant._

He rolled his shoulders, forcing his mind to shut down. Nothing could be done about it now.

He zoned out while images rose from within. They were flashes, fragments, as if the world was a movie strip and he was cutting the film before replaying it.

There…fingers…touching the console, entering the key code.

He moved while keeping the image firmly lodged in place, forcing his hands through the bars again, not caring that this time he chapped his wrists while doing so, bending at a very odd angle until his fingertips were able to reach the keyboard.

Sensing; rough surface, key pad and then the layout rose before his eyes and his fingers were moving, typing in the code the man used before dumping him here.

The door snapped open and Chris quietly pushed through before locking it once more behind him.

He had only taken a few steps before he reached the second cell, more or less falling into the bars, fingers cradling around them in a desperate bit to steady himself.

“Captain?”

Spock…so it was Spock who had been taken with him. Probably because the Vulcan had taken to following him around…

He ignored the Vulcan, fingers shaking as he typed in the same code again, hoping it would be the same. Thankfully the kidnappers hadn’t counted on him being able to memorize the numbers because the same sequence opened the door to Spock’s cell.

He stepped back, panting slightly while still clutching at the bars.

“Jim?” Spock’s voice was almost tentative now. Was this the first time he had used Kirk’s first name? Should this warrant a little whoop of joy from him?

There was nothing there, only darkness, an empty stretch of nothing where his emotional core should be.

“This way,” he mumbled, making to push past Spock when suddenly he was gripped. Since when did the Vulcan freely and willingly touch anyone?

He swayed, barely keeping himself upright.

“Jim?”

He couldn’t afford to let his concentration slip.

“Spock,” Jim forced out, his eyes were still unfocused, trying to look inside his mind to see which way they should be going next. The ship might not be big but there were many corridors to choose from.

He needed to get them out of here.

A schematic flashed before his mind. One of the men must’ve accessed it and he had caught a glimpse of it. _Good._

“I know where to go,” Jim said hastily. “I need to concentrate…so please, back off.”

The words were barely falling from his lips. Usually Spock would argue but for whatever reason, this time he didn’t.

He let go and Chris nearly stumbled, catching himself at the last moment.

Without any further words, he headed towards the exit, his hand slowly trailing along the wall to give him some sort of measure what _straight ahead_ meant.

Spock trailed after him, a shadow of worry and confusion.

The door whooshed open and both men stepped through. Spock was about to head left but Chris quickly grabbed his sleeve, dragging him the other way.

“Engineering is this way,” he whispered, not because he was being smart, trying to keep the noise down but because he had no energy left to actually speak any louder.

A few confusing corridors later and they were in the engine room.

Chris swayed again, and with his hand on the wall, he slowly sank to the ground. “Spock,” he whispered, “Do something…” he made a vague gesture with his hand but Spock was already no board with the plan.

Chris stared as the Vulcan flickered in and out of existence while his body shivered.

Was it this hot in the room?

He somehow managed to raise a hand, wiping the sweat of his brow before nearly falling sideways.

“The engine is stalling. It will soon fail. I would suggest we leave before someone comes to investigate.”

Then Chris was dragged up and hands were snaking around his waist to keep him upright.

“We need to contact our ship,” Spock said quietly and Chris refrained from nodding to avoid any more nausea.

Schematics flashed through his mind again like a whirlwind before he slowly started dragging them forward.

They had just rounded a corner when the ship stuttered and the humming faded away.

Chris pointed towards an access point and when Spock let him go, hacking his way into the system, he allowed himself to crumble to the floor once more.

His brain shut off, having done its duty by supplying the needed information.

Darkness swirled at the edge of his awareness, slowly creeping in and taking over. Shivers racked over his body causing him to spasm nearly uncontrollably.

“Jim?”

No reaction.

“Were you given anything?”

“Something…” Chris managed to huff out, “Drugged…”

He didn’t need to open his eyes or be able to see to tell Spock was actually worried. He was about to let the darkness claim him, to await the outcome of this adventure in the land of Nod but instead, his neurons started firing again, all at the same time with nearly blinding intensity.

“No!” he screamed, shoving Spock backwards and out of the way of the gun before he hauled himself off the floor, towards the outstretched hand.

He managed to touch the steel, fingers connecting, changing the trajectory of the shot but this was about all he got to do.

Agony exploded in his side, changing his path from forward to backwards. Something wet trickled down his shirt while an inhuman growl had the tiny hairs at the back of his neck standing up.

He couldn’t muster the energy though to worry about a strange animal roaming the corridors because he no longer had the strength to cling to consciousness.

Darkness was your friend; didn’t you know?

~6~

Waking up in sickbay was getting to be an annoying habit.

He twitched, stretching slowly to test if there was any pain and apart from a twinge at his side, he seemed to be fine.

His head was no longer swimming or hurting like hell and apart from feeling as if he had been put through the ringer he was perfectly fine.

He totally approved of the more advanced medicine in this place!

“No need to pretend you’re asleep,” Bones grumbled, gently poking him in the arm.

Chris’ eyelids fluttered open and yes, he was in sickbay. He now had visual confirmation of it!

“What happened?” he smacked his lips, trying to sort the pieces in his mind into the right order.

“You were kidnapped, drugged and then shot. Did I leave anything out?”

Bones actually sounded pissed off as if Chris had done any of those things on purpose.

“You nearly died.” The man added after a second of tense silence. “As usual your body wasn’t reacting well to the drug and if you hadn’t gotten shot, your heart would’ve given out soon anyway.

“Oh…”

“Oh my ass,” Bones said with heat, fingers clenching. “Why don’t you have a lick of self preservation?”

Chris narrowed his eyes, heaving himself upwards, a hand tentatively resting on his injured side. “I did not ask to be kidnapped and drugged,” he hissed.

Bones’ face crumbled before the older man rubbed his face. “I know,” he said softly and Chris let it go.

Bones cared, end of story.

“When can I get out of here?” he asked, getting an outraged splutter from the good doctor.

“You just woke up! I’m keeping you here for at least twenty four hours.”

Chris opened his mouth to complain before he shut it again. Maybe resting for a bit was actually a good idea.

“I’ll get Spock to come down and give you an update before you sneak out…” Bones assured even though this hadn’t been on Chris’ mind at all.

Probably because the fact that he was the captain was still only just about sinking in.

He flopped back on the bed, closing his eyes.

~~

“Why are you so mean to Spock?”

Chris nearly jumped out of his skin when Uhura snuck up on him. As it was, he barely managed to finish chewing, not splattering his dinner all over the table.

It was once again late at night, and he was sitting on his own at a huge table. Maybe Kirk wouldn’t have chosen the solitude but he actually quite liked it.

Ever since the fiasco on Mars, they had once again been given only milk runs. He had been thrilled of course because this had given him time to get used to the idea of actually acting like a captain even though he had also contemplated resigning quite a few times. This had never been his dream after all but somehow, despite having actually prepared the letter, he had never managed to send it and probably never would.

The thought of leaving this ship, of heading out into the unknown without anything familiar at all was a lot more frightening than staying on board. Maybe this made him a first class coward but this was how it was.

“I’m not mean to Spock,” Chris defended himself, pushing his plate away because the woman always made him lose his appetite. She always performed excellently, quiet awe inspiring, really, but he had still not figured out why she was so mad at him all the time.

She huffed, putting her hands on her hips, stance slightly tilted as she tapped her foot.

“What?” he defended himself against her accusing glare.

She searched his face until something akin to disbelieve spread across her features.

“Please tell me you’re not this dumb.”

“Hey!” he protested because this was going too far.

She noisily pulled out a chair, sitting down opposite him, still staring at him.

“Spock is in love with you.”

Chris snorted; she clearly needed to work harder if she wanted to trick him.

“You don’t believe me?”

“He’s your boyfriend!”

“No, he isn’t.”

Now it was Chris’ turn to blink. “But he kissed you…on that platform, before beaming down to Vulcan and…”

“That was over six months ago,” she countered.

Chris still didn’t get the point.

She sighed, deflating a bit.

“We broke it off by mutual agreement. We’re still friends but even a Vulcan could tell the spark was missing. Plus we weren’t mentally compatible. We tried melding once and it was a disaster.” She shuddered. “I never want to experience anything like that ever again.”

“Oh,” Chris mumbled. Not the most witty comeback but to say he was stumped would’ve been accurate. “But…” his brain geared up again, “What has your break up got to do with me being mean? And Spock isn’t in love with me. Don’t be stupid.”

“First of all,” Uhura hissed, the fury back instead of the calm woman, “I’m not stupid. Second, if anyone is stupid then it is you. And third, do you know anyone else Spock touches as often as you?”

Chris blinked.

It was true, Spock had touched him more freely than anyone else but mostly this had been under dire circumstances. Like when they had been kidnapped…of course he would’ve touched him then. And yes, flinging him over his shoulder while growling at a Romulan had been odd but Chris had filed this away as Spock doing his duty. And you can’t fling someone over the shoulder without touching some body part of the _flingee_ in question.

But he couldn’t outright dismiss Uhura either because the woman disliked him. He wasn’t going to go so far to say hate but she clearly wouldn’t be in the same room with him unless she had no choice.

And maybe this was the reason for her attitude. She clearly cared about Spock and if she thought he was actually hurting him on purpose, of course she would be hostile towards him.

“Alright,” Chris said levelly, “Clearly I’m missing something here. Enlighten me.”

She glared at him once more but then she took a deep breath. “When we broke up I asked him if there was someone else he would consider for a potential partner and when he didn’t answer, well, he actually fidgeted. And Spock doesn’t fidget.”

Chris nodded.

 __

 _“Spock,” She said, “You don’t have to tell me and I won’t be mad.” She reached out, wanting to place her hand over his but she quickly retracted it because her touch had always been tolerated before but maybe now it wouldn’t be welcome anymore._

 _Spock surprised her by holding out a finger until their tips met, giving her a Vulcan kiss. She smiled._

 _“I shall always consider you to be my friend,” he said gravely and she gave him a huge smile._

 _“Same here,” she said easily. “Just because we didn’t work out as partners, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. So you can tell me anything. Especially if someone else has caught your interest. I might be able to help, you know…”_

 _Spock seemed to consider this and in the end, when she was about to give up, he finally answered. “There is someone who I might have accidentally formed a spontaneous bond with.”_

 _“Seriously?” she asked, her eyes bright with wonder. There wasn’t much in the database about Vulcans, bonding and their telepathic abilities but being with Spock had taught her quite a few things. And forming spontaneous bonds was a rare occurrence and reflected a comparability of mind. “Who is the lucky lady?”_

 _Spock actually seemed to blush, eyes downcast, which probably should’ve prepared her for what was to come but honestly, how could she have possibly foreseen the answer? The two men might be the best team Starfleet had seen in a long time but they weren’t even friends. So for Spock to have formed a bond with the blond menace was up there right next to seeing angels and flying dogs._

 _“James T. Kirk.”_

 __

~7~

Chris sat there, shell shocked.

“A bond?” his breath hitched while he swallowed hard. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

“And how should that have happened, huh?” she challenged. “Oh, captain, by the way…I don’t know how it happened but my mind somehow formed a bond with yours. So sorry about that…”

“Well,” he said tentatively. If she put it like that, it sounded bad but while there might not have been an easy way to tell him about this, surely keeping it from him hadn’t been right either.

“Look,” she leaned forward. “You’re usually so observant when it comes to people flirting with you so forgive me, if I thought you had noticed and were sending out mixed signals. I apologize if I was wrong. But not that you know, you need to talk to Spock about this because clearly he won’t say anything himself.”

Chris opened his mouth before shutting it with a click. She was right; he needed to address this.

“Apology accepted,” he said tensely. At least now he knew why she had been so openly hostile. Maybe she would be a little bit mellower now. It would make a nice change of pace…

“Do you know where he is?” he asked. He could’ve just commed Spock but he figured he should show her he was taking what she had said seriously.

“In his quarters. I believe he was trying to mediate.”

“Alright,” Chris nodded, forgetting about his tray but since she didn’t call after him to clean up, he figured she was cutting him some slack.

His steps faltered once his and Spock’s quarters came in sight.

He didn’t think Uhura was right. There might be a bond, Spock wouldn’t lie about something like this, but he doubted he had come out and professed his love for him. Spock wasn’t the type to gush.

His hand was raised to buzz before he pulled it away.

Did he fancy Spock in that way?

Did he mind having a bond?

He cast his mind inward, trying to see if anything was different but he couldn’t detect anything out of place. He shrugged; of course not, he didn’t have any mental abilities so why should he detect a tenuous bond?

It would explain though how Spock had been able to follow him on Mars, how he had never really lost sight of him, always materializing at the oddest moments and never using his comm. Of course over the last few days Chris had attributed this to Spock consulting the computer because the ship monitored the movements of its passengers so keeping track of him wasn’t really hard.

He looked down, staring at his gold shirt. Maybe he should shower first, dress down a bit, and make this conversation look less formal than it was.

He turned around, entering his own quarters and once he was showered and dressed in loose fitting trousers he usually wore to bed, he used the connecting door in the bathroom to knock.

After a few seconds of silence, which stretched like hours, there was a tense answer. “Enter.”

Chris entered, sucking in a deep breath when heat assaulted his being. He squinted, adjusting his eyes to the dark light before he found Spock sitting on the floor.

He grabbed a pillow from the bed and shoved it on the floor before folding himself into a comfortable position opposite the Vulcan.

“So,” he started, suddenly unsure how to go about this. “I had an interesting conversation with Uhura this evening…”

Spock was actually tense, sitting even more ramrod straight than Chris would’ve thought possible.

“There is something I need to tell you though before we go any further…” he continued, making up his mind on the spot. If anyone would ever believe him and his crazy story, then it would be Spock. “I’m going to ask you a favour and I need you to do it, even I you don’t want to.”

Spock stayed silent but Chris took this as an encouragement because he hadn’t told him to get lost yet.

“Something happened to me in that temple…you know, where I got knocked out and where my brain waves changed?”

When Spock nodded in understanding, he continued. “I can’t really put it into words because it will sound crazy, so I’m inviting you herewith,“ who cared if he sounded oddly formal? It wasn’t every day he invited someone to go traipsing around in his head. “to do a meld with me. So that I can show you…”

“Jim…”

“Please?”

“Very well,” Spock inclined his head in agreement.

Chris moved closer, fighting not to flinch when the Vulcan’s fingers touched his face. Familiar words were mumbled and then everything exploded into bright stars.

“What do you want me to see?” Spock’s voice echoed through his mind and Chris pulled at his barriers, showing him how he had grown up, how he had landed the role of Captain Kirk, how he had a fling with Zach which had turned into nothing more than friendship and how he had gotten plucked from his world and deposited here with no way of ever going back home.

Occasionally he got wind of emotions being tightly held in check. He couldn’t be sure because while it was often hard to recognize his own feelings, putting a name to someone else’s emotion was even more impossible.

Still, apart from the occasional confusion he got a glimpse of, the warm feeling he got from Spock never changed. Not once.

Eventually the fingers stroking his mind vanished and he plunged back into his body.

No one spoke a word until Chris could no longer take it.

“So?” he poked, wanting Spock to speak.

“You have my apologizes for what happened to you and to your world.”

Chris blinked; where had this come from?

“Jim walking into the temple caused grief, it caused an entire universe to vanish and if I had been closer, I would have stopped him from acting foolishly.”

Chris’ mouth gaped open because he had, not in a million years, seen this reaction coming.

“No, Spock,” he reached out, grabbing Spock’s hand, totally forgetting about how sensitive Vulcan’s hands were. Spock though didn’t jerk away either, clinging to him with equal strength. “I don’t blame you or my counterpart. Shit happens and while this is royally fucked up, at least now I know why I always felt such a connection to the man. We are one and the same person. The same piece of clay shaped into different vases.”

“You are comparing yourself to a vase?”

“Well,” Chris admitted with a shrug, “the comparison might be stupid but you know what I mean. We have the same soul, at least that was what the voices said and I do believe them. This feels right even though this has never been my dream. But walking in Kirk’s shoes? Has felt right, if you know what I mean…”

“The bond did not detect a shift either,” Spock casually said. “It is not very strong because I have done my best to block it but if it had gotten snapped, I would have felt it. Instead, when you passed out in the temple, I only felt your confusion, a spike of fear and then only the quiet hum of your mind before you woke up again.”

“Are you sure?”

“Affirmative.”

Chris chewed his lip. “I’m not the man you fell in love with…”

“A bond does not equal love, if…”

“Oh spare me,” Chris removed his hand, waving about. “I don’t need a lecture on how Vulcans don’t feel or how logic rules the world…I know you have emotions. You might keep them bottled up but you do have them.”

When Spock neither confirmed nor declined that, Chris took that as a victory.

“I would like to propose to see if the bond is right, if we are compatible as bond mates.”

Chris blinked. Why were conversations always running away from him tonight? Was it a full moon? Did the phrase still apply when you were in space with countless moons nearby?

“I’m not Jim Kirk.”

“You are. You might go by a different name, you might think you are different but your actions since waking up here have been consistent with how I would have expected Jim to act.”

“Did he have an eidetic memory too?”

“Is that how you were able to know the code to our cells? How you knew your way around the ship? Because you saw it even while you were drugged?”

“Yes,” Chris answered. “I kept my eyes open, hoping I would be able to still recall everything even though my mind was struggling to take anything in at all.”

“I do not know if Jim had the same ability but he has always been extraordinary sharp for a human.”

Chris hummed, filing the information away.

“What are you proposing then?” Chris got back to the original question, not quite sure what Spock was getting at.

“It is very rare for a Vulcan to form a bond with someone from a different species. And it is even rarer for this bond to happen naturally, after meeting.”

“Do you know when it happened?”

“Yes,” Spock said, a miniature shift in his face, which could be read as discomfort. “When I was strangling you on the bridge…”

“Oh,” Chris nodded, recalling the moment. If any moment would be intense enough for a bond to spontaneous pop up than this one would surely be the best candidate for it.

“I only became fully aware of it when I became your First Officer and I have been blocking the bond ever since.”

“Thank you,” Chris said because he figured he should thank the Vulcan.

“A bond of this calibre means our minds are uniquely compatible. There is a phrase, which I think might apply to us. It is an old term…

“Which is?” Chris prompted when Spock paused for a moment.

“T'hy'la “

“What does it mean?”

“Friend, brother and lover.”

“So….?”

“We are already friends…” Spock said, almost tentatively as if he wasn’t sure Chris would agree so he quickly nodded. Spock relaxed a little bit so clearly he hadn’t been sure Chris would actually agree with him about that.

“In time we might become like brothers because it is my understanding a strong friendship does progress towards more familial bonds…”

“Yes,” Chris agreed, thinking about Bones and how he had adopted Jim as kind of like a kid brother. Despite all his nagging, he truly cared. He could be described as a best friend but the phrase honorary brother would also fit perfectly.

And frankly, Kirk would’ve called Bones his family and since he and Kirk were supposed to share the same soul, Chris had sort of started to consider Bones as a grumpy mother hen / brother too.

“However,” Spock’s voice was oddly small, “We can only be sure if we progress to lovers.”

Chris’ mouth hung open before he slapped himself on the head. Of course! He should’ve seen this coming.

“There is no need to harm yourself,” Spock said somewhat stiffly. “A simple no will do.”

“What?” Chris blinked, gathering his failing wit about him. “No, I didn’t mean…”

Was he attracted to Spock?

The answer was a resounding _yes_ because why wouldn’t he be? The man was gorgeous and with his repressed attitude, the emotions always shimmering under the surface, the dangerous flair which appealed to any breathing being. At least in Chris’ opinion.

And frankly, he and Zach had been good in the sack. Spock wasn’t Zach, no doubt about that, but he knew without a shred of doubt that he was physically attracted to the Vulcan. But didn’t Vulcan take sexual relations a lot more seriously than humans did? He didn’t want to accidentally lead him on because right now he couldn’t promise anything apart from a mutual attraction. It might blossom into love or it might not.

“Spock,” Chris said quietly, chewing on his lower lip, wondering how he should phrase this without coming off like an idiot or hurting Spock’s feelings. “I like you,” he finally said, “I am attracted to you. But I can’t promise you this will ever be more than mutual like. And I know Vulcans take this thing very seriously. I don’t want to go down this road with you without being clear on this. I can’t promise you love…not yet.”

“I understand,” Spock’s dark eyes were on him, smouldering. “Despite what Nyota might have said, I am not willing to consider a full mating bond either at this moment in time. However I do not want to walk away from this either.”

“As long as we are on the same page,” Chris said. “No promises, for both of us…”

“Agreed.”

Silence descended again, leaving Chris somewhat breathless. Did he want to try now?

After blinking, he thought, well, why wait?

He extracted himself from the floor, moving towards Spock until he could push the Vulcan onto the floor. Then he moved to straddle him, his hands slowly roaming up his strong body until he could grab a hold of the sleek, dark hair, sinking his fingers into the soft strands.

They were soft, coarser maybe than his own, but still heaven to touch. He groaned, his eyes falling shut as their lips met for the first time.

Spock, despite apparently being quite repressed and in control at any other moment in time, wasn’t so when his libido was engaged.

He grabbed Chris by the hips, hauling himself and a laughing Chris into an upright position before carrying the still chuckling man towards the bed, dumping him onto the mattress.

Chris made a show of bouncing before he quickly removed his shirt, tossing it into the darkness.

Since Spock had only worn robes, he had an easier time of getting naked and Chris honestly had a hard time figuring out where to look first. The smooth stomach, the flexing muscles, the hard, long cock…everything had his mouth watering. He wanted to lick the expanse of the body but he would settle for simply being touched now.

His shaft was so hard he could pound nails, pre-come was already leaking while his toes were staring to curl from Spock simply staring at him.

“Well, get on with it…” he demanded, crooking his finger to emphasis his point.

Spock pushed his legs apart until he was on top of him. Their cocks met for the very first time and stars exploded inside Chris’ head.

“I want to…” Spock’s hand hovered on Chris’ face and he eagerly nodded, saying, “Go for it…”

Having gotten the consent he apparently needed, Spock wasted no time and seconds later, an entire universe opened up in Chris’s mind. This time the focus wasn’t on his memories; he wasn’t showing Spock his past instead they were merging, two souls meeting for the very first time.

There were no words to describe the pleasure that erupted through Chris’ body. No words at all.

Someone might compare it to ice cream exploding on his or her tongue; to watching a sunset with the woman or man you loved; to enjoying an exquisite meal…nothing could possibly compare to the sensation of having Spock in his mind, of sharing their essence.

Spock’s emotions were overwhelming, they were so intense they threatened to burn him alive but instead of being frightening, everything became clearer.

His hips bucked upwards into Spock’s hand. He had taken both of them into his hand, working them as hard as he could. Considering how sensitive his hands were, the Vulcan could tell what caused Chris the most pleasure, making sure to always repeat the motion until Chris was nearly incoherent.

Before the star erupted into a supernova, he still managed to intertwine his hand with Spock’s free one and he was rewarded with a breathless sigh, with watching and feeling Spock’s famous control shatter, pulling them both into the erupting nova.

His body shuddered and then…there was nothing.

~~

When he slowly came to he was engulfed in a strong embrace while fingers kneaded through his hair.

He sighed, snuggling closer.

“Was this to your satisfaction?”

Chris almost laughed until he remembered whom he was dealing with. He couldn’t quite stifle his laugh so he masked it by coughing.

“This was amazing. And you well know it too!”

There might have been satisfied grunt coming from Spock but Chris could not be sure.

“So we are doing this then?” Spock queried.

Chris rolled his eyes.

If the Vulcan thought he was going to give up on orgasms that were out of this world then he wasn’t a smart as he thought he was.

“Yes, Spock,” Chris eventually said, putting as much emotion into his voice as he could. “We’re going to do this.”

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also view this story over at my LJ, [HERE](http://kuhekabir-fics.livejournal.com/92441.html)


End file.
